Fall in Love again

I don’t know where I want to go with this. I don’t know where I am.. At this point of time. I have pondered so many Thoughts and feelings That I should probably resign. Only to fall in love again. I love you though, never wanted to stoop so low.. But no matter how much love Is between us, hurt is Always there. Only to fall in love again. Something, I feel is missing From our connection. Even if fate is the projection. I don’t know if it is meant to be. Why it lasted this long.. I have faith, … Continue reading Fall in Love again

Cast Life Part 2- Tips to Getting Through the Five Weeks!


After waiting three hours in the walk in clinic, the x-ray confirmed a tibia fracture, just above where he wore his ski boot.  The doctor referred us to a fracture clinic closer to home.  I went to pick up the other kids at the ski hill after my husband arrived to relieve me.

We all went home to rest that day
and planned on going to the other clinic the following day.  We found out another major ass kicker! You could not go to this “fracture clinic”  in our area, unless you were referred by a local ER.  LOCAL.  We were in a different region, an hour away, so basically that was a waste of time.  I could have cried.  No one has the time to waste, let alone, put your child through another three-hour ER wait.  We had no choice.  We got to love the politics of Canadian health care.

Bright and early the next morning, armed with games, iPad, and snacks.  We headed to the local walk-in that was affiliated to the main ER.  We were told that the walk-in would refer us to the main ER, without having to wait with the seriously sick people.  After the two and a half hour wait, the doctor advance triage us to the main ER to get his hard cast. No wait.  Thank goodness.

We arrived at the main ER, was quickly seen and casted.  A long cast.  Totally immobilized from upper thigh to toes.  Our son picked a wonderful flourescent green color to suit the occasion of St. Patrick’s Day.  The “lucky” day of breaking his leg.  We paid an extra $95 to get a “fiberglass” cast since that was lighter.  He was scheduled to have the cast on for four weeks…. FOUR weeks.  However, we were so lucky that our fourth week fell on Easter weekend, so they gave us an extra week…. FIVE WEEKS!! BAH!!!!  This was definitely going to be a challenge.

After getting the cast, we headed to the store to purchase his crutches.  I use to work in the ER, but I totally forgot how to “instruct”  a child to use crutches.  It seemed easy enough, but of course, nothing is that simple.

It had been a long day, he was drained.  We treated him to a lunch and headed home to practice using his crutches.  He was definitely was a good sport.  We arrived home, and he wanted his older brother to sign his cast first… as much as they fight and bicker.. deep down inside.. somewhere.. there has to be love..

The Challenges

His Two New Best Crutch Friends 

Rant:  He could not get use to his crutches.  Even though he they were his new best friends. They hurt his armpit.  They were awkward, he couldn’t get up or down the stairs, he could not stand the slow pace, everything was always in his way, little toys, clothes on the floor…  Everything threw him off-balance, he was not fast enough,  he didn’t know what to put first… the list was endless.

Rave:  My patience.  Simple resolution:  take it day by day.  I padded the armpit part of his crutch with some tea and tape.  The rest:  was taken day by day. There is no sense panicking and rushing to get him to do everything at once.  He eventually got the hang of it, and was as fast on his crutches as some of the kids were walking. He did make me, and I am sure all his teachers cringe when crutched down the halls at 50 miles per hour.. but how can you stop that??!

Monday came fast.  Three days post injury.  My five kids usually take the bus at 735am.  They wake up at 7am.  It is always a mad rush, every. morning.

Jimmy is always the last to get ready. Therefore, I opted to drive them to school… for the next FIVE weeks!!!  I am fortunate to be a stay at home mom.  If I were not, it would just be earlier wake up times.

I brought him to school, and walked him to his class, because I had to carry his backpack. I brought him a pillow for his leg to be elevated and that was that.  I also gave him some anti- inflammatories before school so that hopefully it would alleviate his discomfort throughout the day.

Rant:  Stairs.  Stairs and crutches simply did not go well together.  Watching him go up them made me cringe, watching him come down them made my heart drop every time. Thankfully we lived in a bungalow side split, and only had a small amount of stairs.

Rave: My heavy lifting and working out made carrying him up and down the stairs the first few days a breeze!  Eventually he got the hang of it!

Continue reading “Cast Life Part 2- Tips to Getting Through the Five Weeks!”

Wake Up

What we say comes with whimsical breath Comes with feeling- soft velvet touch We back away have neither- nor to say. So cold.  Getting old. Everything like a fairy tale Reading away, chapters, fading ink. Are we as golden, when miles apart How we touch, Will we be okay? Only when it is sunny and never when gray. Clouds consume us Are we dying? Together. Is there no hope, happiness.. Everything we spoke and dreamed Is now just a part of lost energy. Lost in space We dont know where we stand. If we can.. anymore Don’t want to give … Continue reading Wake Up

Pitiful Soul Searcher

Time stands still, As I stare off into the skies Clouded by the thoughts of When I am strangled in your arms of resentment. My heart aches believes That you are the one, My face knows that you are not. You have created a monsterous soul. Painting me of who I am today, or who I believe I could be tomorrow. It is so simply complicated. I don’t, can’t and will never understand. I am thirsty for more, Scars and pain because I know that’s all I can get. I am already battered by the love you do not give. … Continue reading Pitiful Soul Searcher

Dear Father

Dear Father, I will always be your little girl. You will always be my father. Who was never there. Never had a care. To call or contact in any way. You left me when I was three. Thirty seven years. Blood on the welcome mat.. of Shedding bitter tears… Knuckles bleeding.. My eyes see you.. I do not know you So leave me be. I am not hurt, As you can surely see. I do not hate you. I am free. No memories made So none forgotten. Did you think of us, As you lived your wonderful life. Dreams of … Continue reading Dear Father

Where Do We Go From Here

Will you sit on my door step and wait for me to come home? Will you call and leave me a message, So I can hear your voice alone. Will you stay by my side, Until I take my last breath. Do you love me enough To be with me till death? Please take my hand, Hold it tight. Make me understand, Why we always fight The promises made And now they are dust. The promises made, And now there is no trust. What can I do To break your wall? What can I do So that you will call? … Continue reading Where Do We Go From Here

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Here is your green CAST! Part 1

Life events happens.  Call it bad luck. Call  it a lesson learned.  Call it what you want.  Dealing with your child getting hurt, and adjusting your routines can be a tough road. I just smile, shrug and say to myself that “everything happens for a reason”.   You can not stop life, nor change it.  All you are able to do is deal with it as it presents it’s ugly head. The way you deal with life will make you stronger for what ever other event or situation that arises.  Right????? The Calm We were having a wonderful March Break. … Continue reading Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Here is your green CAST! Part 1