It is a glorious Sunday morning. Spring is in the air. The bright sun shines discreetly through my blinds, gently nudging me to wake up. Ohhh what a glorious Sunday .. it’s Sunday! It is MY day to sleep in!! In fact, 7 am is way too early to wake-up. I would prefer to stay in bed until at least 10am. Have coffee served to me… not breakfast… but “just” coffee. I am not asking to much, am I??
NOOOOOOO!!!!!! What the f!! What the serious F!!! The dreaded MAN COLD!!
Why did you have to strike on the ONLY day I get to sleep in!
My mother wakes up with the girls at 6ish… and at that hour.. I am an absolute bear. I relieve her at 7. She has them fed, and dressed. Which is way more than I can ask for.
So needless to say, I look forward to Sundays all week!
After making myself coffee, and sitting with the children, keeping them quiet so that everyone else could have a nice Sunday morning sleep in, I visit my ill husband.
He rolls over and groans. His eyes at half mass. He says “look down my throat”… Serious?? I shine my phones flashlight down his throat…”HOLY SHIT!!” “HOLY F’en SHIT!!”
I tell him that there is nothing wrong with his throat. He says “no! look again, my uvula is twice its normal size… does he not know that I use to work in the ER?. My sympathy cards are rare and hard to come by. I roll my eyes and go back to the children.
There is no point arguing with a man cold. I bring up some vitamin C chews and am sure he is going to milk this.
He says I never believe him, or give him a break when he is sick… ummm maybe because you are so dramatic… He says he has to be dramatic or else I will work him like a dog and then he really won’t feel better… REALLY???
When I am sick, I am still functioning. I function at below capacity, but I still show my presence. As parents you can’t just take a “day off”. And it is really not fair to pawn all of the work on the other half. Even if I was sick, I would definately feel tremendously guilty.
I read a lot about the “man cold”. How my husband is not the only one this affects. In fact, I think it is a seperate illness all together. I believe that the “man cold” is way more severe than the flu, or diarrhea, or vomiting. In fact, the man cold actually eats at your brain. making you feel a lot worse that you appear. Mentally and phsically burning your insides and leaving mush behind. Poor man.
I should probably look into inventing a vaccination for it. I would be rich! Every woman would get their significant other vaccinated.
After letting him rest for an hour or two- see I have “some” sympathy. I very discreetly walk to our room. Yes, to spy on him. To see if this “man” cold is real. Because most often, when I “sneak” up to the room- he is watching tv . If “I” was sick, I definatley would not be watching TV.
This time he was not. After another sympathy hour of rest, my nerves were shot. The four kids were driving me CRAAAAYYYYYZEEEE. I was trying to clean out the garage, clean the yard, take the girls for a bike, pick up dog shit…. ahhhhh SPRING is in the air!
He finally got up to take my son to his birthday party and hockey game. Maybe because he knew I was not going to do that…. or maybe because he “really” wasn’t that sick… or maybe because he felt guilty…who knows.
I still love him and would not trade him for anything..but he definately deserves an Academy award.